Dad's favorite color is ultramarine. Being an artist this color dominates most of his art works. So it's only natural for me to inherit his appreciation for darker hues of blue. It's difficult not to love blue, especially the darker shades - navy, ultramarine, violet, indigo. Of these colors indigo was chosen as his theme color during his solo exhibition way back in 2003.
Whether it's because the difficulty of extracting the color blue from natural pigments, or the color had been historically associated with refined living and royalty, it gives the viewer peace of mind when used correctly. However, modern society tend to equate blue with negative moods such as depression. With societal segregation and individualism, blue is slowly losing its traditional quality as a calming, comfortable and integrative (think blue in the flag of the US or Malaysia) color and gradually replaced by one of negative emotions and loneliness.
Even though I always shrug when asked what's my favorite color, my wardrobe is full with families of dark blue. You won't spot me in fluorescent yellow or orange, except in the circumstance that I'm forced. To be a dark blue, it has to be accommodating to other colors, resistant to impurities and tolerant with other colors. It's a quality that I treasure and hope I have in myself. However, being dark blue means less chance being noticed and appreciated. A dark blue have very little opportunity to come under the spotlight - like what I think of Dad. I wish I have less of them here but at times you just couldn't help it.
I wish I have all the good qualities of a dark, dependable and perhaps occasionally mysterious blue. I wish I would shine once in a while - venture off the beaten track, lose myself completely at some unknown place; even though my future looks very predictable.
I wish I could be there for my friends; I wish things would work out easily for me, just like with Mum and Dad (or perhaps not); I wish my life is a perfect equation.
Almost always it's not.
So now I'm learning to live with imperfections of the dark blue. Learning to add other hues of brighter shades into my life. Learning to walk out and let go.
Wish me luck.