Jan 17, 2008

Where To?

The human being is a strange creature - things you want always turn out to be things you don't really want at the end of your pursue, and things you take for granted all the time always turn out to be those most appreciated when you're short of them.
For more than 3 weeks I was counting down to the day when I will board my plane home. I yearn the moment when the plane takes of back to the realm of home. Sometimes even in the blurry semi-consciousness of sleep I feel the accelerating speed and the moment when the aircraft is airborne. It is something like riding the roller-coaster - fantastic and scary packed together in candybar fashion.
At 9.55am on Tuesday, I handed in my Biostats paper along with the log sheet (we had log books for SPM, here it's only a log sheet). With my brain in hemiparesis (semi-paralyzed mode), I managed a smile to the teacher and exited the room, and the lesson. Today at 9.40 I did the same with Biochemistry, only this time it was an MCQ answer sheet, and I am in much ambivalence regarding the answers than Biostats. I hope for an A for Biochemistry, but whether or not God (or the group of teachers) allow for that I do not really mind anymore. I was 39% happy for the semester to end, and I am 27% contented with my overall self this semester. The many events and incidences had trained and sculpted me into a more wholesome, unafraid and versatile person. In face of difficulties I seem to (in my own humble opinion) grumble less (though my roommates would strongly object to this), and start deviation into looking fo a solution within a faster period of time.
I am also mildly amazed by how I manage to sail through this semester with so many other responsibilities on my shoulder besides tests and assignments. Although things were not completely perfect along the way, and we constantly made mistakes consciously and unconsciously, I think the most important thing is that we learn from past experience and find ways to stand up again. I am not optimistic of the next semester, as we will enter the realm of gross anatomy (the lesson cleverly named as 'Fundamental Outlines of the Beauty of Anatomy', which should just be called 'The Taxing Gross Anatomy'). With a strict and ever-demanding teacher, it would be hard to slack off once in a while in between. Nevertheless, as my senior once said to me, you plan beforehand, but you do not worry beforehand. Worries are to be kept until the moment when we are certain of its existance.
I'm still in the process of overcoming post-exam trauma currently, and I hope the following days of warmth and sunshine will do good before I depart home. My resolution for next semester - to look in front in life.