Apr 21, 2008


Since time memorial there's been this theory saying anything that is imbalanced, will automatically balance itself out given the time and space - heat establishes equilibrium overtime (and that's the reason we experience oppressive weather as a result of heat generated by ruthless factories in China), market economy, human population etc. Establishing an equilibrium is a force of nature, as it is also a natural behavior of human beings - less food - work harder for more; good living standards - demoralized society etc.
Capturing and utilizing time, dubbed the primary factor in determining success of an individual, is doubtlessly another subject of equilibration. An example would be useless, you've heard it all the time - when I was small, I used to spend the entire afternoon catching thor-sat at the drain behind our house. Then I went to Chung Ling High School, and every week I have no less than 5 tuition classes. Of course, I can still watch Phua Chu Kang on TV every Thursday night, and probably The Amazing Race on Tuesdays, if I get my work done. Then I went to university. Now, with anatomy, psychology, epidemiology, and molecular cell biology, I barely have time to blog. But since Form 3, my academic performance have been quite constant - always approximately in the 10th percentile of the class. I demand myself a lot at times.
Which brings us to - demanding oneself against fulfilling expectations. I have principles in the matter of study. Under normal circumstances, I always pre-study before the lecture, and I limit myself to review at least once within one week after the lecture. Then, before the second week, I must had completed my notes on the subject and see everything through. Sounds perfect - the typical studying method of the typical Chung Ling geek. But with the present amount of time fulfilling all these, and establishing an equilibrium after all the exhausting studying is getting more difficult.
With the equilibrium theory working itself on me, in compensation of torturing my mind feeding in facts, the brain launches a re-strike - I complained, begged sympathy and attention from seniors while bullying juniors. This is sickly I know, but when you have no hobbies, no girlfriend (or boyfriend) to talk to, not a single admirable object to earn envy from, you either write this senseless post or you nag non-stop.
And I haven't reach my main point for this post yet. My senior grinningly told me this is just the beginning of a nightmare, the climax starts next semester, when you see cadavers all day and books all night. He would do the same thing over and over again - pat my shoulder, say 'learn to adapt this,' and tiredly walk away. And I would shout from behind "I wished somebody would say 'everything will be all right, you'd be fine', but I'm not so certain about it either." Looks like some scene from a 60's romance.
Good and bad things happen everyday. They almost always come in equilibrium, so, when something unlucky strikes, like getting the very last position in drawing rooms in the dorm, something good is just around the corner, just look out for it.
And Jun Yi, everything will be all right, you'd be fine at the end of the day.


Anonymous said...

so, you will be fine , the roof won't collapse if you take a nap n treat yr self leisurely.