Oct 9, 2011

"One Day"

I made a promise to return to Malaysia "one day" - with no specific date in mind as yet. To my babysitter and distant relatives, they define "one day" as upon graduation; to Mum and Dad, we talked about this countless times and I expressed my desire to complete my training here.
Previously I've quoted the reason for not returning being the Malaysian Medical Council not recognizing my university's degree. When I grill myself deeper, I realize I was just being lazy not wanting to take the exams (even if I'm qualified to), not wanting to work in the "deplorable working conditions" of Malaysian hospitals - afraid of leaving the comfort zone.
I assume a lot of Malaysian students studying overseas feel the same - deep in one's heart the desire to stay and do great things is always fighting against the call for home. Our parents, like millions others, are tough liars on the phone - "don't worry, stay there, work hard, don't come back," but deep inside they are yearning for the next reunion. If Taiwanese customs allow sambal belacan, they'll make it pronto and FedEx it over.

We never heard from those very few who chose to head home. All we heard was from those who stayed, and seemingly never regretted the decision. I'm sure there are interesting and rewarding experiences waiting at home. And it is these little efforts that bring about change for the better.
I've got a set path in my mind and talked to my parents about the future many times now. I can't live up to everyone's expectations so there must be compromise. Being me, this "set path" is very likely to follow its course and end up almost like how I expected. As we mature we tend to lose our spirit of adventure. I hope I don't and it gets me someplace totally unexpected. As Mr. Jobs said:
Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
So be it working back home "one day" or staying put here, I promise to follow my heart and intuition, love what I do, and step out of the comfort zone. It pains me that I couldn't produce a definite "one day" for the ones I love back home, yet, but this is my life.


康宁 said...

same here...going back home is almost my ultimate target..yes, we heard abt all unpleasant things working in malaysia, but medicine isnt about that, it's about serving people who need ur help, no matter where they are from...

JYSim said...

I hope when we look at this with hindsight in future it wouldn't be all regrets and sighs. It's still very distant for me but I wouldn't until the current situation improved somewhat.

Chen Yi said...

same here. one day seems so distant and faraway when u take into account all the consequences behind your decision to stay or leave - associated with the added responsibilities and commitments of being an adult and having to pave the road ahead towards the future. :S

i'm still telling myself that one day i will know what i want, and where i wana be.

let's hope we all do! :)

JYSim said...

*Huddle together* One day we will go back and stay there for good!