What's In An Upgrade

There's nothing more financially discriminatory on Earth than when entering an aircraft. Regardless of color or creed, those willing and able to lash out a few thousand bucks get to turn left while those looking to curb every cent turns right. Therein lies an entire world of difference - 6 crew man a cabin of 200 passengers behind the partition on the right; 8 crew to an exclusive cabin of 35 on the left. Meals come in iPhone-sized boxes on the right; a full 4-course meal on porcelain and silverware served by a chef au bord on the left. While the 200 people on the back of the aircraft have to tolerate wailing babies and vomiting old folks; the exclusive 35 in front gets attended to on the most trivial of matters, like filling up a landing form.
On the dawn of the new year, I decided to end this discrimination against me for once. Forced to return on the 5th day of Chinese New Year with cattle class fares skyrocketing through my credit card limit, it's time to put my 20,000 Enrich miles accumulated with teeth and bone to good use. After a call to Malaysia Airlines and a visit to their town office, I was 'upgraded'.

You can't imagine the endless perks airlines provide for their premium passengers - town pick-up, priority check-in and boarding, special lounge area, and for First Class, a ride on Porche Panamera. Now we understand why some snobbish prince is willing to fork out the price of a small apartment for a coach in an claustrophobic flying aluminium tube - privacy and personal attention we 'commoners' are unable to appreciate in our daily unroyal life.

Saying goodbye to Penang on my last afternoon

Upon landing in KLIA, I flashed my Business Class boarding pass and get admitted promptly into the Satellite Golden Lounge with a "enjoy your stay with us!" from the concierge. I'm starting to feel la première associated with high living. In economy class you won't even get a second look from the ground staff when they scan your boarding pass.  
Picture is the Golden Lounge of London Heathrow, I apologize for not taking any at KLIA.



This is the first class lounge, of which I can only admire through photographs.

The business class lounge is toned with navy blue and shades of wooden brown modeled in the style of old British train coaches. There were several TVs playing business channels for business executives who can't take their eyes off global finance and foreign exchange rates.

Bottomless drinks and food is enough to satisfy me. A noodle bar is here for made-to-order noodles from all of Asia, and a self-service wine bar for the bankrupting taukeh.

My 3rd meal of the day at 11am. This was followed by chicken rice with roasted pipa chicken, sardine puff, white wine, cakes, creme caramel, cheeses, and tomato juice. I had to constantly remind myself not to overstuff my stomach because there would be more food onboard. No wonder: studies show income is directly correlated with chronic diseases in developing countries. They do nothing but eat and watch TV!

Soon we're ready for departure. Upon boarding and (drum rolls...) turning left, a brightly groomed stewardess fully embalming the Malaysian hospitality spirit greeted one by name and showed you personally to your seat. "Any drinks for you, sir?" "More pillows, sir?" "Cold towels, sir?" "Newspapers, sir? We have (start chanting a series of international papers)."

The commotion did not died down like cattle class when we started taxiing. As soon as you lay down your used towel a stewardess gracefully walks over and stows it away. Fresh orchids and jasmine were placed in the lavatories, fully stocked with Aigner toiletries. A few seats back in a place without human rights called economy, you'd be lucky if the person before you clean the basin before he leaves. In business, a.k.a. Golden Club Class for MAS, I reckon a stewardess is present onboard just to clean lavatories.

A glance at my fellow passengers reveal they are either born with a silver spoon in their mouths or hardworking businessmen who started from scratch. A family of 4 - mum, dad, son, grandma, was on my right, Daddy quarreling with Mummy about spending too much time shopping. In my family we usually quarrel about who should use the car or have the new cell phone; my neighbour passenger had clumsily dumped his Blackberry, iPhone and iPad on the seat panel, precariously hanging on the edges occupied by his 39-inch belly. A lady was sitting alone clutching her LV handbag, and talked to no one at all during the entire flight.

After takeoff the drink cart came. Pretending to know all the drinks I ordered a Heineken. An entire can was promptly served in an elegant glass with coaster and napkins. Behind me the matron-stewardess scowls and say "if I give you the entire can, there wouldn't be any for other passengers, would it?" (On another note, I ALWAYS get an entire can in Economy on MAS).

Then comes mealtime. My business class menu invites me to dine, not just eat.

Malaysian satay is Malaysia Airlines' signature dish which two rivals down south try to emulate and glorify. Though not a fan of satay, I have to sarcastically admit that the best satay I had was at 37,000 feet up in the air. Large chunks of tender, moist chicken and lamb grilled to perfection - crispness and juiciness melting simultaneously in your mouthful of smooth peppery-sweet palate smothering with the right amount of fat. The salmon and salad was pale, in comparison

Then comes the main course, or 'the main event' which Singapore Airlines dubs. I chose the cod while my neighbour chose the chicken. A steward serves up our plates, warm straight from a plate-warmer in the galley. I took my time to appreciate the artwork of the dish, taking photographes and admiring it from every angle, while my neighbour busily wallops down his nasi ayam. Meanwhile in you-know-where, yellowed vegetables, dried chunks of unidentifiable meat and burnt rice are being served.

I am all for dessert. I'm a firm believer than a meal can be compromised of anything else other than dessert. I am rather disappointed when 'fresh fruit' actually means 3 pieces of careless cuts. This is no different from back there. The Haagen-Dazs ice cream somewhat made up for it, while the blueberry cheesecake is sublime.





There were several choices of wines, spirits, and champange as well but I decided to abstain just in case I go out of control and behave un-business class-like in my hard-earned business class trip.

After the entire affair, I started to play with my seat, which can recline up to 171 degrees, unlike only 1.7 degrees back in economy (on AirAsia). I could definitely sleep soundly in this position had the flight been longer. Memories of sleepless nights in a cramped seat with an obese seatmate creep into my mind as I write this. Ever since that trip on China Airlines, I vowed to not behave nicely and asked straightaway "can I have an empty seat beside me?" every time during check-in. A tip to share: utilize the empty seat beside you to the max - lift the arm rest, sit slightly slanted and you could actually recline a whole lot more. The table beside can be used for your paraphernalia or bottomless drinks (press the call button without shame). And you also get extra pillows and blankets without having to ask!
After a movie, How I Met Your Mother, and Glee on a screen twice larger than back there, it's time to descend. Besides the cruising part of the flight, taking-off and landing is actually pretty much the same as back there. Even the Pope has to wait for clearance to land and get stuck up when there's no gate to dock the aircraft.
Bidding goodbye to my seat after 4.5 hours costing 20K miles.

A moment to reflect:

Golden Club Class, a term which conjures a past era of official British colonial exclusivity and elegance exuding power or wealth is a good name for a business class product - Air France uses L'Espace Affaires, Continental Airlines Businessfirst, and Etihad Airways Pearl Zone.

Even though these names and products are a symbol of civility and the learned, the passengers riding on them aren't necessarily so. We've heard stories of premium passengers harrassing, extorting, bullying cabin crew, and my experience with the quarreling family and food-walloping neighbour certainly proves this. Hence, even though a majority of us can only afford you-know-where, we could still fly fully dignified knowing those in front aren't as happy or excited as us stepping into an aeroplane everytime.

Last Flight Out

Last MAS flight out of New York

By LIM AI LEE, Malaysian Star

NEW YORK: The 19-hour flight to Kuala Lumpur which took off from here at 10pm on Thursday (10am Friday, Malaysian time) turned out to be a sentimental journey for many passengers and crew.

MH91 was Malaysia Airlines’ farewell flight from the Big Apple as Malaysia’s national carrier has decided to suspend its Kuala Lumpur-New York route.

As the plane prepared for take-off from the Newark Airport, it was given a water salutation normally reserved for aircraft making their debut at an airport.

A total 188 passengers boarded the flight, including eight members from the Malaysian national darts team who had just won a bronze medal at the World Darts Championship in North Carolina.

“We are happy to catch the last flight home but at the same time, disappointed that MAS will stop flying from New York after tonight,”said team member Sazali A. Rahman from Labuan.

Pilot Kapt Badrul Hisham Zainal Abdin said he hoped MAS would change its mind about suspending the flight.

“The United States is Malaysia’s largest trading partner but direct acccess has now been reduced to just Los Angeles,” he noted.

MAS area vice-president (Eastern USA) Malkit Singh and station manager Kamili Md Amin were present to ensure that things went smoothly. MAS airport staff and those from its Manhattan office were also there.

The New York-Kuala Lumpur flight has been operating since 1998, initially transiting in Dubai and since Nov 2004, in Stockholm. In July this year, the airline announced that it was suspending the flight from Oct 1 due to a drop in demand following the global economic crisis.

Also on the flight were Foreign Minister Datuk Anifah Aman and 13 Malaysian delegates who were in New York to attend the United Nations general assembly.

It's quite sentimental to see a lot of lasts, but during the economic downturn nothing can really be spared. I certainly hope 'temporary' is really temporary, and with the new MD/CEO we would see more aggressive growth.
On a more positive note, my favorite carrier had recently signed an engine purchase agreement for their new 737-800 aircrafts due to arrive next year.


The short-haul aircrafts would be used to replace its aging 737 fleets, some almost as old as me. So, by September 2010, we can see state-of-the-art aircrafts when we fly MAS across ASEAN, South Asia and China (within 4 hours flying time).

The Wild Ride With The Fat Blond Goose

I can be harsh at times, especially when under pressure. So the following interesting hiccup occurred:

I made a booking on August 29 for a Taipei (TPE) to Penang (PEN) flight with Singapore Airlines, transiting in Singapore (SIN) Changi International.
At the time of my booking, Singapore Airlines confirmed my travel arrangement as follows:

January 20 Taipei - Singapore 0755 - 1230
January 20 Singapore - Penang 1545 - 1710
-----Happy Chinese New Year at home -----
February 13 Penang - Singapore 2115 - 2240
February 14 Singapore - Taipei 0125 - 0555

On October 10, Singapore Airlines SMS-ed me telling me that my Singapore - Penang flight is 'rescheduled' - a better way of saying you're kicked out of that flight - to a later flight. SQ198 will depart SIN at the evening and arrive in PEN at 8pm. The brief and indifferent SMS also asked me to 'reply with Yes1' if I'm okay with the change.
Deciding this is not another SMS rally (to win a prize, reply 1), I called Singapore Airlines in Taipei demanding an explaination. It seems that they have canceled Penang-bound SQ196 (the original flight) on Mondays and Tuesdays. The agent indifferently asked if I'm okay with the change and promptly kicked me onto the much later flight. And thank you for calling Singapore Airlines (in a Singaporean slang).
Then I figured - I'll have 6 hours to hang out in SIN. While many have claimed SIN to be the best airport in the world, I wouldn't want to be stuck in there on the way home. I wrote an e-mail to Singapore Airlines demanding 'any form of refreshment during my prolonged transfer at SIN'. They replied, promptly and indifferently 'based on goodwill gesture, you are invited to our (windowless) lounge at Terminal 2'.

The golden goose (that couldn't fly) - Singapore Airlines

The nightmare recurred yesterday, on the eve of neurobiology mid-terms, when the indifferent SMS once again invaded my mobile: your flight, SQ880 SIN-TPE is being rescheduled to SQXXX 0835 - 1305 14 Feb.
Calling again to Taipei, the same indifferent agent went through the process with me. She was about to hang up when I realized - heck, I'll have to spend a night in SIN!
I asked promptly if there will be any form of compensation for this, she said "hold on, I'm checking...you mind waiting a few minutes for me?" I made her call back. This is not customer service.

A great way to fly?

15 minutes later she called and informed me that a booking had been made in SIN for a transit hotel. I would indeed have to spend a lonely night in SIN (before going to HELL). Perhaps neurobiology was taking up too much of my mind at that moment, I realized it would be a hellish experience with the airline other airlines talked about. This is not what I expected when I clicked 'purchase' on the page with a kebaya-clad lady (probably Malaysian somemore) smiling at me.
'The customer is always right' I say. So, I wrote a feedback to Singapore Airlines:

So, as you might have noticed, a short flight of several hours have stretched to a day-long affair due to Singapore Airlines' inconsistent scheduling and poor management. Is this "the airline other airlines talk about"? It would be a disappointment to note the indifferent attitude many of your staff shown during my encounters with them through the telephone. If I had had not asked on my own on rescheduling compensations I reckon the indifferent Singapore Airlines would leave passengers hanging around in SIN for 10 hours or more. I do not think this is "a great way to fly", sir.
I believe as a premium airline Singapore Airlines could do more than the aforementioned in face of rescheduing and poor management by showing a little more sincerity, graciousness and problem-solving skills. I look forward to my first trip with Singapore Airlines and I hope it would not be my last.

They have yet to reply to my (sort of) hate mail. Let's see if they would, and that will tell us how much the fat blond goose values its passengers. I am a firm believer in delivering what you promised - if you aren't on par with what you've advertised, don't boast. And stop the indifferent attitude - like I'm only one of the many others who called for a flight change or seat selection too-free housewife. I believe Asian airlines do better than that.

Here's To Another Weekend

"How your day ends depends on how it begins."
Noticed how sleek the wau is less than a decade ago? I second guess their proclamation of being 5-star nowadays. But I guess coming from a nation where hospitality is common nature, it's harsh to judge on the wau when flying isn't as nice as it is in Malaysia.
Anyway, happy weekend! And have a nice one.

Back Home

Aside their prices being a tad higher (not anymore I hope with their Everyday Low Fares promotion ongoing year-long), one thing that will hamper me from flying the wau is their age-old aircrafts. Some of their Boeing 737-400s are even older than me (20 years). While MAS has embarked on a cabin refurbishment program recently to transform the tired interiors into Smarties tubes, the fact still remains the same - old, tired jets.

Finally, this will soon become something of the past.

Malaysia Airlines formalized a purchase of 35 aircrafts from American planemaker Boeing yesterday in the Farnborough Airshow. These Next-Generation Boeing 737-800s (pictured) will start arriving in MAS' fleet as early as 2010.

MAS' order pushed the total orders for the Boeing 737 past the 8000 mark since its inception 40 years ago. Being the world's most popular and most profitable aircraft, the 737s had been in the industry since the Jumbo Jet era. Still showing signs of strong demand due to increasing fuel prices and short-haul traveling, the 737 program is the most successful aircraft ever manufactured to date.

With their new babies, several other aircrafts of the fleet will bid goodbye to us very soon, namely the mainly-domestic 737-400 and the A330 operating mainly within ASEAN/Asia Pacific. The 737-800 have the ability to cover up till 5 hours of flight, which makes it operable to destinations in China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and India.

On another note, aviation nuts like me will get to enjoy detailed insights into operating an airline from engineering, catering, passenger feedback and inflight services with the launch of Malaysia Airlines' new blog. Living Malaysian Hospitality - eating, breathing, sleeping MH features posts from employees of MAS as well as events in the company - something very innovative I think. Aside from sneak peaks and coorporate events, if you feel like ranting the From Our Guest will enable you to write to your heart's content. However, it is not real-life update (to prevent the red guy from bashing them).

Looks like the wau is set to soar!

Battle Of The Kebayas

I'm reluctant to admit my finals are less than 2 days away and I'm spending the entire afternoon idling online. No matter, there's a more interesting topic for us to dissect here.
Few might know that rivals Singapore Airlines and Malaysia Airlines are initially Siamese twins. Founded as Malayan Airways Limited (MAL) in 1937, the joint-venture between a steamship company quickly grew from 5 passengers to one million by the 50s.
With operations expanding to include many international destinations and boasting great services, Singaporeans' kiasu-ism took over. They preferred to expand internationally and vowed to make MAL synonymous to Singapore; while their Malaysian siblings, with their love for rural kampungs and idyllic lifestyles, want to make MAL a regional airline. After 6 years, they decided to split into the current Singapore Airlines (SIA) and Malaysia(n) Airlines (MAS) with SIA taking stakes of the big jets and trademark kebaya uniforms and MAS taking more smaller jets.

Original twins separated. Both fledged different ways, both successful in their own turf.

MAS, led by Malaysians lacking edge due to less exposure of kiasu-ism and Lee Kwan Yew brainwashing, was at the losing end without landing rights to many international destinations and even stripped of the famous uniforms. No matter, they redesign their own, homegrown, by MARA Institute of Technology.
The melon-colored kebaya is to be one of the most famous, though less popular icon, of airline hospitality.

Inspired by kelarai leaves and the hibiscus, MAS' kebayas are no less promising than the Singapore Girl's. This is MH...

No matter too when other airlines are expanding rapidly, MAS is comfortable with 3 dozens of little aircrafts aging 15 years or more. When others have 15-inches personal LCD screens, we have the best weapon - Malaysian Hospitality. Feel at home from the moment you step into our aircraft...

When others had gone for chicer designs, MAS is still struggling with the oh-so-nineties fabric seats and 10.4-inch screens (with scratch marks).

Always lacking money in advertising, MAS is less known out of its own turf. No matter, they say, as long as our award-winning cabin crew keep grabbing awards, and Skytrax proves us 5-star, passengers will come swarming in. Though we are not in any global airline alliances, we have a fantastic hub-and-spoke network allowing our passengers to connect from Kuala Lumpur to almost anywhere in the world (by luck or coincidence however, the only German city connected by the network is Frankfurt and in France, Paris).

Down south, separated more than 40 years ago, SIA has developed into one of the world's best airlines, and most well-known. Singapore Girls, wearing kebayas designed by a Parisian, roam in airports from Houston to Cape Town. Boasting itself with cutting-edge technology, and the privilege of flying the first A380, they are a confident lot with plastic smiles, indifferent attitudes and don't-play-play punctuality.

Ever wondered what's the logo of SIA? It's a golden goose actually.

With a logo, colors and cabin crew totally irrelevant to the nation it represents (6 out of 10 Singapore Girls are recruited from Malaysia), they say passengers only want entertainment and excitement. More than ever (borrowing their tagline), our latest in-flight equipment and smashing new planes will flood with passengers since we're with Star Alliance, the biggest airline alliance in the world. Singapore's strategic location also made it a superb hub for Australia-Europe and America-S E Asia passengers, though whether or not the satay and nasi lemak we serve onboard really comes from Singapore is another matter.

Chic equipment and smashing new planes, even in Economy Class. See this MAS?

Heck, so chic is SIA even reading the inflight menu is a gastronomical experience: rice vermicelli served with bouillabaisse with a bedding of greens - which turned out to be...fried beehoon.
Nevertheless, home culture is something you cannot shed away completely. Singapore Girls had been criticized to be a cut below Malaysian Hospitality representatives - a result of Singapore's hyper progressive and impersonal growth over the years. And when it comes to feeling of home, nothing beats the melon-colored girl asking if you want nasi lemak or char koay teow (never served inflight) versus the spiced up beehoon.

SIA's trademark: more than ever, Singapore Girl, you're a great way to fly.

What The Hell Is Happening To...

I was procrastinating (h'm, taking a productive break) from Molecular Cell Biology a few days back when I bump into the aviation forum Malaysianwings. Being a hardcore aviation enthusiast the 'productive break' quickly spiraled into a helpless fascination and hours glued to the screen reading forum posts.
It's been to my knowledge a few months ago that my favorite airline is undergoing some major changes in their cabins, with new uniforms rolling out replacing the old melon-colored kebaya very soon. And in all Indo-China routes hot meals had been replaced by the 'Snekbox'.
All photos from Malaysianwings unless otherwise indicated:

MAS says they got 91% satisfaction for their Snekbox...

...which consist of some Sandwic, fruit, air (water or air?) and typically some sweeties.

Another variation of the Snekbox, with a bakery bun, cake and yoghurt.

Eliminating hot meals means cutting lots of costs involved in passenger meals - hot food needs to be prepared fresh, rapidly chilled, and re-heated again onboard before serving. With the 91%-satisfaction snekbox MAS staff can earn extra income by doing OT packing the boxes, and send them to the airport for the following day's flight. Wallah, clever move!
However, it seems awkward to many that an airline which boast itself being 'more than just an airline code; MH is Malaysian Hospitality' would serve something so...common on its flights. Less than a year ago the hot meals usually comes in 2 options - Asian and Western. The Asian meal, being representative of Malaysia, would usually be Nasi Lemak or Rendang. And now, a Sandwic? Where is Malaysian Hospitality?
And I doubt the packaging is more expensive than the contents...

Serving the cheap snekboxes with award-winning cabin crew won't help.

Last but not least, they've decided to overhaul the seat fabric as well. Remember the oh-so-classy squarish seat covers they had? The square designs are reminiscent of a weaving motif of Sarawak (of which minority group I couldn't recall). They don't look classy like the leather seats of AirAsia, but at least it's some representation of Malaysian Hospitality.

I am especially attached to 737s of MAS as they are the usually the last flight before home.

And now...the new seat fabric...

Seems they will introduce flights directly to Bollywood very soon. Let's pray the colors are not going to stay. Give me back the blue-green covers! (The above seat covers are only applicable to domestic flights as of time of writing.)
Luckily for me Taipei is not an Indo-China destination, and Penang is too short for them to dish out Snekboxes. So, for my next flight with MAS I will still get nice hot meals and full-can sodas. But I do have to make two Kuala Lumpur-Penang trips this August. Let's hope the Bollywood covers would be history by then.