About My Life

I was being busybody and scanning through my primary school's friends' blog when I realize they all have happier, livelier and more cheerful posts than mine. Mine sounds so philosophical all the time. So, to propagate the term 'randomly', I hope this would end up a happy post.

I spent 1 hour and 52 minutes on Sunday afternoon watching a movie about a man whose greatness outshines that of Lincoln but is less heard of in our times. William Wilberforce, an English Member of Parliament from the late 1700's to early 1800's is the first who proposed a bill against slavery. During his time Britain was the biggest superpower on Earth but approximately two-thirds of the empire's wealth is built on slaves. This is a movie about one man who in his life had the opportunity to realize that God created Men equal, and gambled his youth and energy for it.
Being in parliamentary debates before, I just find the way he shouts "No matter how loud you shout you will not drive out the voice of the people!" mesmerizing and "Remember, God made Men equal" so tearful you'd weep at the end of the movie. This is a movie which images scald your mind even when you're having dinner or doing the laundry later.
We had Biochem midterms last Monday. Since almost everybody is blogging about how the exams are and how you wish it'll end in a flash I'll not replay everything. Let the following two pictures do the talking.

Those doing biology-related subjects will know anything with a 'bio-' prefix attached to it will involve LOTS of terms to be memorized and even more figures to remember. Take a long hard look at them - thousands and perhaps millions of these sheets are what doctors are made of. And you sue him for the simplest mistake - mistaking left as right or giving you false hope (or rather, failing to mention your days are actually numbered and seeing you break down in front of the entire family from Granny to Mimi the cat). Don't become a doctor, just be happy.

Another typhoon is sweeping over Taiwan lately, and as I mentioned to my friend this afternoon 'we're in London without being in London'. Everyday we wake up to 25% daylight, wade through streams and rivulets of rainwater to get to class - only to discover the teacher has postponed his lessons. We swim to lunch and dinner, and the air is saturated with water. Everything feels wet - the pages, the handouts, even the keyboard I'm typing in. It has been raining for 50 straight hours now, and I hope the school declare a holiday tomorrow - dismally low attendance.
Anyway, here's a shot out of my window before the storm.

Note the little yellow flowers (I think it's of the same species as our 'yellow shower', which fills the street with slippery yellow flowers during Qing Ming festival every year).
Now I hope the rain subsides on Wednesday, I have a wedding dinner to attend.
And I always thought a post peppered with pictures and clips are happy posts.

Irreversible Equations

I have nothing to call on my defense.
Call it temperament, childishness or the weather,
the spotlight fades
and we are to go.

The truth about irreversible equations is that
there must be something highly energetic
triggering its change.
One year and a little extra had proved
you are not capable of
juggling, multitasking.

One principle we held in life
is to maintain friendships worth maintaining.
I do not question
the definition of 'maintenance'
but is rather
appalled by the action of it.
Friends are not books you read,
stow away,
and read when you feel like it,
again.

I do not question
the reversibility of the equation,
just as I am too weak to bark at
unfairness and stupidity nowadays.
One will learn to swallow it
sooner or later.
Forgive my silence
but I think
things will never be the same again.
Winds and tides of change;
may God put you in the palm of his hands,
and me out of impulsiveness.

Thank you...

Last Thursday

The day was perfect. The sky was electric blue and the clouds like cotton candy floating on a blue Bacardi (ok, that sounds a little too yummy). Aside two hours of biochemistry which I understood nothing, and stared at the teacher yakking away like listening Queen Elizabeth speaking Greek, the weather and mood of last Thursday was just perfect.
Back in my room at 10, I fished out my biochemistry textbook. After 3 sentences, I decided to award myself an off day today. It's just impossible to study under such perfect weather (but with the exams just 4 days off, that decision was much harder to make then). I made myself swear to God I'll make myself happy today, in all means. It's been a long long time since I did something really insane. Insane - something Sim Jun Yi will not do in everyday life, i.e. curled up in a corner reading a novel for the entire afternoon, take a round-the-world plane trip, donate 50 thousand to the Government of Malaysia etc.
As I'm out of good reading material, I skimmed through my roommate's bookshelves. I've been eying his copy of 'The Shadow of the Wind' long enough to judge it is a good book. Flipping the pages, I felt like going back to Form 4 when I first started reading 'The Da Vinci's Code', except that 'Shadow of the Wind' is less engaging and I still remembered to have lunch and went to class at 1.30 later.
At 3.30 we had German. The teacher's a little late so I went strolling about around the block.
It so happened that I have my camera lying in my bag when I saw this beautiful image. The sunlight penetrated through the clouds (which became storm clouds in an hour's time) and shining straight on the field. Light in crystalline form. With the warm air around you filled with smells of coffee and waffles (the cafeteria is just several steps away), it's hard not to think of holding someone's hands and strolling along Gurney Drive (though I heard much of the seafront is gone now).
In German class later my German teacher, a tall, little-balding guy in his 30's confessed to me, telling me how he had observed me since the beginning of the school term and how he thinks I'm a nice guy and how he'd like to get to know me better. Of course that's solely for educational purposes - even though confessing and proposing a marriage is not included in the syllabus, the girls usually love these stuff. "Just in case you met Prince Charming who happened to be German one day!" they argued.
I spent the later evening watching 'Pride and Prejudice', learning and faking the Briton-accent Mr. Darcy so intelligently put together, and reading a few more chapters of 'Shadow of the Wind'.
And now, satisfied indulging myself in my Thursday dream, I must, must go back to biochemistry.

How Will You Travel Through Life?

I weave through
every crease and scaffold;
every equation and summation;
theorem and principle,
mastering endless knowledge
that does not necessarily contribute
to a prospering medical career.

Is knowing less of your field
a sin?
How do you define the boundary between 'competent' and 'unrecommended'?
Scrutiny, envy and pride;
this is not a field for nonsenses.
Drawing the boundary,
defining the standards,
granting the qualifications;
Helpless, as it always had been.

An uphill struggle compounded by
an ocean of knowledge
left behind by
wise, bearded men.
Challenging, tiring and demanding,
all your life.
However, when you stamp on uneven grounds
supporting and leading the crowd
and they say 'thanks, doc!'
or a glimpse with a smile;
that is when
the battered tree grows
afresh, afresh, afresh.

I charge and soar down the runway,
it's too late to hold short now.
Climbing into the clouds,
expecting turbulent storms ahead;
Knowing
I will travel through life
always lending a hand
and patting shoulders.
Destination: a better place
for everyone.

I hope you'd enjoy the ride.

A Meaningful 1.5 Minutes

How long does it takes to make you cry? You cry for a lot of reasons, and the tears of pride that something or somebody that bears your entity is something rarely encountered by us.
This is an advertisement made by Malaysia Airlines celebrating our country's then-48 years of independence. While the company is to see stormy days ahead, they are then one of the most profitable and successful airlines of South East Asia.
Even though Malaysia Airlines had constantly become a victim of the media for being inefficient, corrupted and discriminative, let's not forget how MAS had sacrificed all the way in the efforts of 'menghubungkan rakyat, mengintegrasikan masyarakat, memajmukkan bangsa dan budaya, mendidikan dan membangunkan sumber tenaga kerja dan mengharumkan nama negara ke 6 benua seluruh dunia.' (connecting Malaysians, integrating the community, diversifying our cultures and identity, educating and developing human resources and (literally) spread our wings to all 6 continents in the world).
Even though Malaysia Airlines is now flying high again under the stewardship of Datuk Idris Jala, let's never ever forget the fact that MAS the wau is never established for profits in the first place. The wau symbolizes controlled flight, and it has flew restlessly these 60 years into the remotest corners of Malaysia supplying valuable resources and propelling tourism there (for a comparison how dreadful things can go wrong, look up for a company called FAX).

Thank you, Malaysia Airlines for 60 years of unparalleled cabin service, genuine smiles every time I come home, and all Malaysians and non-Malaysians you have transported. You are truly Malaysian.

0.5 Semester

I've always liked decimals more than fractions. They convey the right amount more accurately, and you don't have to second guess whether 7/8 is smaller than 9/10 (although it may seem obvious to some).
It's been half a semester. Aside the progress of biochemistry and shock of finding myself knowing absolutely nothing about biostatistics last week, there's no indication that half a semester had came and gone. Every week is more or less the same than the week before - on Monday I will yearn for the weekends; on Tuesday I'll question myself whether I'm still a medical student as I have a complete set of rubbish lessons on Tuesday; on Wednesday I'll get furious at how dumb my lab partner is, and how is he more interested in gossiping than getting temperature right; on Thursday I'll look forward to German, as the teacher talks more interesting crap than teach German, and on Friday I'll laze around while cursing the pile of homework that had accumulated over the weekdays.
It's difficult to imagine how was life this time last year - I just can't truly recall anymore. The past is, sometimes, better left alone. However, I almost feel proud seeing the progress I've made from last year. Although Sim Jun Yi may still not be Mr. Perfect everybody likes, whenever I look at myself in the mirror, at least I like myself, in the mirror (which is called narcissism by the way).
A lot of things changed over the past 0.5 semester, much like the raising flour prices due to increasing fuel costs and yadda-yadda. My life is still largely unaffected by the tides of change - I lived a life of semi-existence - I study, I sleep, and I forgot everything I've studied. I watch a really good movie, I sleep, and all images from the movie is completely erased from my mind. I made a mind-list on what to do by next week, I sleep, and I have to re-do it (doctor's diagnosis: vitamin B deficiency). Everyday I swim in pools of protein molecules and enzymes with names longer than our Sultan. I raise my head and I see myself smiling along with Mdm. Hor, and Jieyang and Kai Yan smiling back at me (in a photo). I sleep at 12 and wake up at 7.10, staring into the gloomy sky. Perhaps this is what you have to go through in order to become a doctor - to give up the pleasures of life - to give up a fraction of your spirit of adventure and ground yourself to the realm of expectations and performance.
Prices of vegetables increases by 177% in Taiwan, the Pakistani stock market slided 5%, the Italian government deports Romanian immigrants, Singapore Airlines increasing fuel surcharges...is this the beginning of the end of the world?
To Mum and Dad: I'm completely all right, so, if you see this, don't call.

p/s: McDonald's breakfast is a fast cure for the broken-hearted. Try it someday.